Does your shadow side come out when you least expect it?
It’s not always those times when we’re exhausted or stressed out. Sometimes it creeps up when you think all is well with the world — like when you’re inspired, and you’ve finally decided to move forward on your idea, that goal, or that relationship.
Then out of nowhere, you’re suddenly feeling inadequate, insecure, or scared.
Do your subconscious patterns continue to undermine your wishes? If you have promising prospects available to you, yet invariably chose the experiences that complement your underlying shadow, that’s worth looking into further.
When you can actually look at your shadow side to bring awareness to the parts of yourself that would once leave you hiding, lashing out, or running for the hills, YOU are tapping into your POWER!
Instead of denying these darker aspects, you stand in the reality of who you are from a place of vulnerability and strength, allowing yourself to be human. Ah, what a relief!
You are not a bad person for having these unsightly shadow aspects. The fact that you’re human makes you capable of experiencing the entire spectrum of emotions… and this is a gift (although it may not always feel that way.) Exploring and owning ALL of your emotions can lead you to a deeper understanding of what drives you and what holds you back.
And this is why it’s relevant to you…
If your shadow has been dominating your decisions and actions, your light is being eclipsed. What that means is: You’re not living out the JOY you were MEANT to experience here. That means your shadow has been occupying too much real estate in your world.
If sticklers like self-sabotage, procrastination, and playing small, have been getting in the way of your dreams, it’s time to make a new friend: your shadow. When you befriend your shadow, you disarm it and reclaim your power. By naming and recognizing your shadow with compassion, you can then begin to integrate those displaced qualities into your persona.
One curious part of the shadow that keeps many well-meaning people confused and stuck is projection. This is when people become triggered (inwardly or outwardly) by something someone says or does — without knowing that what gets under their skin is actually a reflection of themselves.
Yes, what really irks you most is actually a part of YOU that is asking to be integrated. (This works BOTH ways for both negative and positive qualities.) On the lighter side, what you admire in others reflects back your own virtues or shiny qualities.
Makes sense, right?
So, the next time someone upsets you or annoys you, pay attention to your response. Know that this aspect wouldn’t bother you unless you possessed a trace of it within yourself.
That can be a hard pill to swallow, and yet, it’s the simple truth.
Negative emotions are not bad. Instead, they are your clues to look closer within and ask yourself WHY you were impacted in such a way.
Moreover, if you find yourself in a loop of attracting unpleasant relationships or circumstances, use this as an opportunity to turn the mirror on yourself and explore your own role in the problem. That’s stepping out of victimhood and into responsibility and power. This includes ANY part of your life that feels difficult… whether it be physically, emotionally, intellectually, or spiritually.
Here’s the Good News:
When you become more comfortable with your shadow, judgment towards yourself and others will be replaced with compassion and love. What you perceive to be your flaws are the very qualities that will enable you to connect deeply with other people like you, who are lightworkers with a big purpose in the world, yet are held back by fear, indecision, or even apathy.
It is safe to BE YOU when you allow both light and dark to exist in harmony. Being YOU will attract a whole new set of higher vibrational experiences because then you are coming from a place of LOVE. You don’t need to put on a suit of armor or ‘fake it’ to make it in this world and be happy. Acknowledging your light as well as your darkness, will bring you a unique freedom that only YOU can allow.
In the Practical Sense, You Can…
- Say YES to your quiet side and still allow yourself to reach out and connect with others.
- Say YES to your sensitivity and still allow yourself to use it in service to yourself and others.
- Say YES to your fear and still take that intentional step into unknown territory.
- Say YES to the people and circumstances that nurture your light and uplift you.
- Recognize any persistent negative behaviors, thoughts and responses, so you can investigate the feelings underneath. Then consciously take action from the higher virtue of that shadow aspect.
- For example, if you find that you’re hiding, ask yourself WHY (it could be overwhelm, shame, embarrassment, fear of rejection, fear of commitment, etc). Once you figure out the WHY, then counter that feeling with a positive truth statement such as: ‘Even though I feel afraid to make a commitment and I’ve made mistakes in the past, I know I am worth the investment, so I’m taking this step forward to…’
- Surround yourself with the knowledge, people, and environments that support your whole being and will remind your of your light when you feel less than.
Step into the light of truth and SEE who YOU ARE… vulnerabilities, fears, failures, and all. Even if you don’t feel like you know exactly who you are at the moment, the higher part of your soul knows without a doubt. On your healing path, you will start to remember.
On my own healing journey, I came to terms with feeling like I may never fit in and decided I was worthy of unconditional love anyway. This attracted the right people into my life who made it safe to be me and find my JOY again. Not fitting in — or standing out (however you wish to view it) — and embracing the parts you wish would just disappear, will empower you to STEP INTO more of who YOU ARE. That is how you begin to create a bridge to your JOY and LIFE PURPOSE.
We are ALL on that journey. The bonus you get for facing your shadows is freedom — an immediate reward for doing the work. The more you do it, the easier it will become. I love this quote by Dr. Seuss:
Once you shine the light of truth on your shadow and see it for what it is, you have the power to transform it. As a result, your integrated self will propel you to new heights!
Which shadow aspect will you be having a closer look at this week? I always enjoy hearing your experiences.
P.S If this message would inspire someone you know, please pass it on!