Did you know that one of the most common reasons people stay stuck in limitation is because they are afraid of how their success will impact other people? Yikes, right? It may seem odd, yet this is a very run-of-the-mill emotional block.
Many people go through a period of time in their adult life when they realize they have been operating from childhood modes of survival or protection. It’s the fight or flight response played out in a more covert manner and in many different forms: emotions, relationships, health, etc.
Perhaps you know what this is like:
As a child, you may have been taught not to question things, speak your mind, dream big, or show emotion. You needed to adapt to your family environment in some way in order to survive and be accepted. Your survival depended on this acceptance by others because they were the ones that put a roof over your head and food in your belly, or gave you the love you longed for. It is a very basic need to belong and to be loved.
When people take these the survival and protection modes into their adulthood…
That’s when the disconnect between what they feel and what they experience shows up. They are left wondering why their relationships lack intimacy or why they feel stuck in an unfulfilling job. They feel frustrated, disappointed or inauthentic, but part of the problem is they are still tiptoeing around what others think. They are still unwilling to embrace their own greatness for fear of how it will impact others. What they don’t see is how their own outdated patterns only set them up for a repeat of their past.
As a survivor of sexual, emotional and physical abuse, I knew survival mode all too well. As an adult, I struggled with feeling disconnected, unfulfilled and ungrounded. No amount of medication, blame, or psychotherapy made a difference for me. I was stuck in victim mode when I actually needed to step into my divine power.
As adults, we must let go of the old mindset that was determined by others, and into the attitude of authority – authority over the course of our lives. As adults it is our responsibility to step into our power and use it to create our own joy, abundance, and health.
When deciding to make changes in your life, it is natural to give a courteous nod to thoughts like ‘What will they think?! Will they be okay with this? Am I worth this?’
At the same time it is crucial to forge ahead towards your dreams in spite of these feelings. We must love, accept and believe in ourselves to the point that we are not swayed by the opinions or judgments of others. That goes for both positive and negative feedback. We have to be so connected to our vision that neither compliments nor criticism determine our life choices.
Speaking from experience, the hardest comments to digest tend to be from those we love. Would you believe that some of my friends and family got upset with me when I announced my engagement? Each time my life got better, the more those same people were bothered by these new improvements. They were not prepared for me to build something great upon the ashes of my past struggles. At that time, I had to be more committed to my new life than to the opinions of others.
Some were baffled by my progress. After all, for the first 30 years of my life, I had been the long shot, the sensitive one, the fifth wheel. I had expanded my life vision in order to rise above the limited expectations of others and my past self. I couldn’t blame them for their confusion because these changes were quite miraculous!
I call these ‘polarizing moments’ because they show you who is truly in your corner. The defeats and victories in your life will crystalize everything around you. You will notice that people will rebel or cheer as you rise. Instead of mourning these revelations, thank Spirit for showing you the truth. Thank Spirit for teaching you not to rely on the approval of others but to trust in yourself and the Universe. When others did not support my choices, I decided to enJOY my life regardless of whether or not I got people’s blessing, and eventually, they came around. You will teach others how to treat you by how you treat yourself.
Do not close the book on your success story before it has been completed just because you’re afraid of what the critic’s will say. Moreover, don’t dumb down your brilliance or beauty just to try to make others feel safe. As you embrace positive changes, be willing to let others have their own reactions. Give yourself permission to shine. Let your pain count for something and actually yield a well-deserved reward for all you have overcome.
It’s easy to feel off balance when someone has done you wrong or said something discouraging… especially if you’ve shared something positive. Do yourself a favor, and don’t let it keep you down for too long. It is unrealistic to depend on the reactions of others to feed your sense of fulfillment in life. You have to do that for yourself. Focus on what you want (instead of what you don’t want) and hold tight to your dream in spite of others’ opinions or whether it makes logical sense. It’s very likely that people will think you’re crazy or unrealistic for having those BIG dreams, and that’s absolutely all right. Direct your energy where it will have the power to serve YOU.
You may be in a place where you don’t know how to get back into the higher vibration of your desires.
Here are some Practical Energy tips to shift yourself back into a Higher Frequency:
- Connect with the emotion of gratitude. Speak aloud, write or bring to mind what you are thankful for.
- Embody habits that will feed your emotional, physical and/or spiritual needs.
- If you’re tired, rest.
- If you’ve been eating unhealthy foods, make some better choices today.
- Go outside and notice the ever present rhythm of the natural world.
- Listen to your favorite song and drink in the vibes or dance!
- Recall a happy memory and sink into the sensory details of it (sight, sound, taste, touch, smell, emotion)
- Call a trusted friend for a pep talk.
- Imagine and feel yourself living out your dream.
- Do a chakra cleanse guided meditation.
- Talk to your angels or loved ones who have passed (they are always listening).
Remember, avoid enrolling yourself in thoughts of doubt or unworthiness when people don’t understand or support your choices. Instead talk yourself right back into your dreams. You have to become your own best cheerleader. Don’t wait around for permission to embrace your greatness or to take that big leap. You set the tempo, the tone, the energy of your dream. YOU are the creator of your life.
Trust in the Universe and Expect Miracles!
P.S If this message would inspire someone you know, please pass it on!