Have you noticed that your “comfort zone” isn’t all that comfortable?
That’s because your “comfort zone” is your limit.
It’s the place you’ve outgrown.
It may be tolerable for awhile, but if you remain
there too long, it can be constricting, frustrating,
and even bad for your health.
When empaths explore pushing the boundaries of their comfort zone, this can be a delicate concept. Healthy boundaries are an important part of basic energy management. However, if you are keeping yourself small because of familiarity or fear, you are putting unnecessary limits on your life.
So, what is the difference between healthy boundaries vs. the limits of your comfort zone?
Visit Life By Design Post #64 to determine if you’ve been holding yourself back, and get 4 practical tips on how to move forward with confidence.
Healthy boundaries are put in place to honor your sensitivity, prevent overwhelm, minimize connections with people and places that are not in alignment with your higher good, etc. These boundaries are a form of self-love.
On the other hand, your comfort zone is made of the limits you place on yourself due to things like fear of the unknown, not wanting to invest in yourself, or not believing something is possible for you. Your comfort zone is safe but it keeps you small. Most people don’t remain stagnant because they’re comfortable there. Rather, they are not sure how to move forward. These limits are fear.
An empowered way to push the boundaries of your comfort zone and reach new heights is to consciously stretch yourself. Conscious stretching means simply deciding to do something that feels uncomfortable because you know in your heart that it will improve your life.
Your comfort zone is the small place that holds your potential. This is the place where you begin to receive nudges and signs to advance forward. Your job is to listen and follow through with your actions. Getting results in life as a sensitive person can be easy if you allow yourself to lean into the unfamiliarity and take conscious baby steps in the right direction. This is when it is healthy to push your boundaries.
Much of what holds people back is anticipating feeling uncomfortable or unsafe. It’s often not even the action itself. (The irony is that by anticipating what you don’t want, you are actually creating it.)
Why do we do this?
We are protecting ourselves on a very primal level. It’s part of the survival instinct, and it’s one of the main jobs of the unconscious mind. This is natural. However, when you allow the lower level fear-based emotions to continually be the deciding voice in your life, you are holding yourself back from what’s possible for you. You’re caught in a loop of “comfortable uncomfortability”. On one hand, you feel safe because it’s familiar, and on the other hand, you feel unsatisfied, unfulfilled and frustrated because you KNOW you are capable of so much more.
Signs you are getting in your own way
Watch what you complain about to others. Moreover, be acutely aware of what you complain about in the quiet space of your thoughts.
In those moments, you are giving your power away. When you complain about anything in your life, you are embodying the energy of disempowerment and thus inviting more of that in your life.
Many people tell themselves it is because of their circumstances, their past, their sensitivity, or the people in their lives that they don’t have what they want by now. But the truth is, they are selling themselves that limitation. Most of the time it’s because getting to the next level actually requires something different that they are not yet willing to do.
How to move forward
- Ask yourself: “What am I fighting for at this moment? Is it my victory or my excuse?” Place your hand on your heart and feel into the answer. When you connect into your heart intelligence, you begin to understand that your wisdom and your gifts have ALL come from being uncomfortable and stretching beyond your capacity.
- Then ask yourself: “What is the ONE thing I need to do that I’ve been holding back on because it’s out of my comfort zone?” Write it down.It’s the thing that has crossed your mind but you think it’s not possible because of excuses such as your personality, your history, your family, your husband, your kids, your job, your health, or your sensitivity.It’s the thing you fear doing because you’re afraid of failing, being misunderstood, being alone, being embarrassed, being judged, etc.
These excuses and fears are all the ways you convince yourself it’s ok to hold back your light from those who need to SEE you. These are the ways you keep abundance from entering your life. Write down your top two excuses and fears.
- Put a time target on your goals.
Short term time daily or weekly targets tend to work best at first. You’ll create fast results, as well as build your confidence little by little.
- Play with the concept.
Try simple tasks outside your normal routine to gently stretch your comfort zone. Some ideas are taking a new route to work, waking up 30 minutes earlier, smiling at five strangers, dressing up, dressing down, posting on social media, or take a cold shower. These are easy yet comfortable tasks that will stretch you nevertheless.
We are designed to seek, discover, and expand more and more…
It’s not selfish or scary.
It’s simply the natural flow of an abundant life.
You’ll know you’re onto something great when S T R E T C H I N G becomes your new comfort zone!
P.S. Have you been receiving nudges to push beyond your comfort zone but don’t know where to begin? Conscious stretching can be hard to do on your own. That’s why some people choose to invest in their weaknesses to get the support they need to move forward with confidence. Book a call with me and I’ll show you how!
P.P.S. My friend and bestselling “letting go” author Guy Finley has written a heart-changing, soul-healing book, Relationship Magic: Waking Up Together. As you listen you will discover the lost keys to a higher kind of relationship that is never stagnant, but always fresh, spontaneous, affectionate, incorruptible — and above all, truly loving. And today I’ve made special arrangements for you to receive instant access to the full audiobook, read by Guy himself! And… it’s FREE! Click here to learn more.